I was raised in a good Christian home with loving parents. However, there were a lot of rules, most of which were not biblical. I was loved but never felt a close relationship with either parent. I often wondered if I had been adopted. I always felt left out and different. I have been plagued with low self-esteem my whole life. I have found out within the last 2 years that I was sexually molested in my home by someone close (very long story and I am still searching for answers to that). I discovered this through training to be a volunteer advocate at a local pregnancy center. I had been carrying lots of shame and not aware of where it was coming from. For most of my life I self-medicated with alcohol and sometimes other substances (marijuana in my younger years). I had tried to quit multiple times and always relapsed. I had tried AA, psychotherapy, meds, etc. without success. I had also served the Lord at various times in my life but always "backslid" and went back to living for the world and trying to find peace in anything I could. Basically, I was running from God. The best part of my story is that 7 years ago (as of the 8th of this month) I gave my heart back to the Lord (totally this time) and realized I was at an all-time low. I began to realize that my 14-year-old daughter was watching me getting drunk every day (did I mention my husband is an alcoholic as well?). I was not there for her emotionally and wanted a better life for her. So, I gave my whole heart to the Lord. Only then did the chains of addiction begin to break. I also have been through multiple deliverances and inner healings. I am still a work in progress but with the blood of Jesus Christ I am able to walk in peace truly for the first time in my life!!!