I will arrive at Heaven’s Gate weary, wounded and having failed my ultimate mission to become like Christ. Yet I will be overwhelmed and overjoyed and fully accepted as a child of God. That is the miracle of the cross and a truth I hold dear. There is an old spiritual that says “I’m not what I ought to be, but I ain’t what I used to be!” and that is a central theme in my testimony. My childhood was impacted by divorce and alcoholism. My father (who eventually came to Christ) was largely absent from my life except for 1-2 visits a year. My mother worked hard as a factory worker. She eventually found Christ while in recovery in AA. She began going to church and dragged me along. We were poor. The only summer camp we could afford was the church camp since they would let me go for free. It was a chance to get away from mom, so I took it. It was there I accepted Jesus. There was something about the peace and humor of the counselors. Bob, who also led worship at our home church, became a key mentor in my life as I opened scriptures and started my journey. My adult journey has been full of seasons of flow and seasons of drought. I have never felt more accepted--and never been more hurt--by Christians. Such is the challenge of an imperfect community serving a perfect God. But I think that is why Jesus came to restore relationships. That can be harder than simply working on “no swearing, no porn, no ___” checklists. I am still in progress. I too have been the source of comfort and the source of pain for loved ones in my life. What I love about Christ and Christianity is the unfolding nature of the walk of faith. We become our best by seeking to be least. We grow closer to God by sharing our worst stuff with Him. The paradoxes of faith are fascinating and draw me in. “How can this be?!!?” And yet it is.